As I mentioned in my post a few weeks ago, I had a lot to do on my trip to Washington. Prayer was a big time survival technique and part of my every HOUR during the days leading up to the trip. I prayed that I’d find the perfect house with enough space, a yard for Roy, and in our housing allowance from the Army. I prayed that I’d love my doula. I prayed I’d love the hospital on post and that they’d let me take a tour of labor and delivery. I prayed the Fort Lewis would feel like a place I could get excited about living. I prayed that I’d feel a peace when I went so that my heart would be happy when I was flying out there to move instead of nervousness.
There were a lot of conflicting thoughts in my head. Part of me felt guilty for having so many prayer requests. I felt like I was “using up my queue” with Jesus… I know it sounds ridiculous.
I also constantly battle with myself making sure I’m not praying to a “vending machine” God who I just talk to when I want something. I always try and find a balance with desiring to submit to His will but also expressing my desires. But I might as well be honest with my desires since He knows them any way, yes? And I came to a place of boldness. I figured if I was in the Word, asking for guidance, and laying out my desires for the trip, I needed to trust that He gives us the desires of our heart.
Stuff started happening.
Before I knew it, at the end of the trip, all of the things I’d been praying about had fallen into place! We got the house we wanted. I liked my doula. I liked the hospital. I felt peace about Fort Lewis. My desires had been met. I felt understood. I felt loved. I felt peace. Then part of me was surprised.
I shouldn’t have been surprised right? If I claim to worship the God that I do, I shouldn’t have been surprised that He gave me the desires of my heart, that He looked after my trip to Washington, that He had a Holy and Righteous plan for me there. When will I learn to not be surprised anymore when prayers are answered?
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”