My trip to Starbucks

Ok, this is not going to be a serious post. In fact, this may bring me down in your books (I like to think you write about me in your diary) a bit. I was writing a paper last night and couldn’t focus because my husband’s hot body laying on the couch like a giant flank steak was beckoning me to snuggle and watch 1 of the 8,000 Johnny Depp movies that was on TV. So, I thought, “Hey, you used to go to Starbucks in college and write papers! Maybe that’ll work!” So I went. Here is what I noticed in the 2 hours I was there… besides the fact that I won’t go back any time soon.

1. Ladies, tights are NOT pants. I don’t care how cool your tshirt is, no one is looking at it because we’re all afraid that you’ll get a run in your tights and we’ll see your wonderland.
2. It is weird if you have a pornographic desktop background up for everyone to see. It’s even weirder that the pornographic desktop background is of yourself. Just you.
3. Why are you a loud talker? Are you afraid the guy you’re talking to won’t hear you over the deafening silence that some of us like to call, peace?
4. How do toes fit into those cowboy boots that point upwards at a 90 degree angle at the toe?
5. Have I mentioned that tights aren’t pants?
6. Why, when I am the only one sitting inside, clearly studying, and all the tables are empty; Do you, Lady Luck on the cell phone sit down next to me and giggle with your greased up suitor about who are you talking to on the phone? Why? So many other tables where you could sit…
7. When did Starbucks baristas start wearing Starbucks arm bands? Are they going to come play music in my garage later?
8. How many times can they play the She & Him album in the few hours I was here? Oh good you want an answer… thrice.
Print Friendly, PDF & Email
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.
  • sarah


    i think it just means you are getting old. (i already am).

    can't wait to journal about this.

  • Olga

    Girl Im totally with you on the tights are NOT pants thing…….. I love you Martha your so freakin hilarious, and by the way this did not bring you down in my Books, only Up!

  • ash

    my two favorite lines in this post:

    "because my husband's hot body laying on the couch like a giant flank steak"


    "it's even weirder that the pornographic desktop background is of yourself…"

    what is happening to winston!?!?! good thing you don't work there anymore and don't have to rock the armbands. seriously? what's funny is tights, or more appropriately, spandex "base layer" leggings are definitely considered pants out here. what's more disturbing is 80% of the people (b/c some men wear them too) rock them.

  • Pam Shaffer

    Dear Diary,

    Remember me telling you about my friend, Martha? She's really funny and cool. She wrote a blog about her Sbux experience and I laughed and cried. Apparently it's not fashionable to wear hot pink tights with vertical toed cowboy boots and an armband. Remind me not to wear that outfit again. I'm so glad I have a friend like her to tell me what's cool and what's not. Okay, talk to you tomorrow!

    Love, Pam

  • SayrahLouise

    WOW…all I have to say. 🙂 You just brightened my day and reminded me that I am better off writing this dang papers at home 🙂

  • Jude

    you know i am a fan of blogs in list form, so this was A+ for me. It will for sure make it into my diary, aka: "Jude's book of people and incidents that either pissed me off or inspired me." You fall into the non-urine category of course.

  • miss b

    sorry about my desktop pic.