A few months ago I prayed a scary prayer. I prayed that God would lead me into a holy life. I prayed that God would transform my broken life into a life that honors Him. I knew as I prayed that prayer I would experience a lot of opposition within myself.
Since I prayed that prayer, I have never been so aware of my sin and my short comings. Every day I stare my sin in the face. It’s like this annoying after-school special going on in my head every time I’m tempted to gossip, lie, be lazy, be judgmental, eat 4 bags of Chewy Sprees… you get the idea. All day long I realize without grace, I’d be forced to listen to Carl Winslow’s voice in my head point out how I’m a failure and how I need to make better life choices.
Every day I realized that with humility comes a crossroad. I could either let my short comings and failures make me insecure and put me inside my own grave that I’ve built inside of my brain. Or I could feel freedom from my unreasonable expectations and finally be a piece of clay. I need to stop taking my humility inwards and start pushing it outwards to the cross.
Yes I’m still wrestling everyday but God help me if the day comes on this side of Heaven when I’m not wrestling to be a better person. God help me if I’m not constantly evaluating my life and the aspects of it that keep me from growing… and taking actions to weed them out.
What weeds are there in your life that prevent you from growing?
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