I just laughed at that title because I am so desperately trying to not use “late” or “overdue” anymore but it’s clearly not working. Ok, so technically I’m 6 days past my due date. And I wish I could tell you I was handling it like a champion of peace every second but I’m not. Some seconds, yes…. but not every second. Bud came 9 days after my “due date” so I shouldn’t be surprised. I make it pretty comfy in there apparently. Here is my stream of thoughts this week:
– I’m trying to reframe my thinking that each day that goes by without 2.0 baby is one more day that I get to spend with Bud one-on-one.
– I’d love to bring this babe into the world naturally and peacefully just like Bud and that will obviously be easier if he’s not the size of Thor and I don’t have to deal with medical induction. Luckily, they haven’t nailed me down for a date yet (I’m annoyingly persistent about my rights). I have my stress test tomorrow morning and my 41 week appointment Friday morning so we will see what the midwives say. If necessary, I’m going to fight for 42 weeks but obviously praying he comes before then.
– I’m waddling. That is all.
– I’m still trying to look nice each day because I’m thinking that will make me feel more normal instead of what is actually happening which is strangers visibly slowing their cars down and pointing as I walk through the neighborhood and doing the head tilt, “Oh my, when are you due?!” in the grocery store.
– I realized I needed a major heart check. I won’t lie, once his “due date” came I went a little control freak. I started trying every natural induction method in the book. I think those methods can be super helpful in aiding the baby out, but my heart was trying to manipulate my body and take control and FORCE the baby out. So, I realized I went a little crazy and have given myself a break from natural induction techniques for a day or two to get my heart right. Yall- it got ugly the other day (castor oil, pumping, chasing Sam around like Miley Cyrus trying to get some action) so I’m getting my heart in the right place about the fact that God knows this baby’s birthday and I need to chill.
– My friend Stacy who is my distant doula/midwife through both Bud and this little guy sent me an email late last night (after dealing with my craziness so gracefully and patiently) and honestly, it was EXACTLY what I needed to read and it sent me into a tornado of tears and M&Ms. First of all, she knows me so well and gave me wonderful information about my body, inductions, and the averages of due dates. But then she told me a story about her little girl.
At some point, I must have shared something about Ezra’s own timing. We were walking side by side and my little girl said, “Mama, you always say I was born early. But I wasn’t. I was born when God told me to be born.”. After saying for many years that Ezra was almost 3 weeks early, I realized how often she had heard her birth story framed in that way, or some story about how she only weighed 5 pounds b/c she was ‘early’. My heart skipped a beat, my eyes flooded with tears, and my pregnant self flopped to my knees and held Ezra’s tiny hands. I said something like, “You are right, babe. You were born at just the right time. Thank you for hearing God’s words and agreeing with God.”. Ever since I have always said that Ezra was born at just the right time, the time when she was supposed to be born. I trusted her even then as a wee babe inside me and yeah, she is easy to trust 8 years later! It’s incredible how that child hears from God. But that is another sack of stories….
I encourage you to take a risk and Trust this. Who knows what you will learn now and in the future? It is a wonderful ride to hear our children speak of their relationships with God long before we were even putting them in cute church clothes. Amazing. What an opportunity to take a leap of faith!
So there ya go, I’m trusting. I’m trying to remove “Oh well Bud was 9 days late so this one might be too” from my vocabulary because God knows exactly when my boy will come into the world and it’ll be awesome. Prayers for my heart and for my labor/delivery are welcomed and cherished! I’ll keep you posted!