Addendum: Thanks to some wise words from a reader, I need to clarify. This is not meant to be a blanket statement towards all parents. I firmly believe that parents dealing with serious issues like disabilities need whatever platform they can get. My main point is that we need to choose our words on social media carefully because our negativity can easily bleed onto our children. I’m not trying to sound calloused, please know that. This is a hard gig and I’m convinced there are days when my son is trying to take me down. But we can’t continue to tell our closest 1500 friends on Facebook that our kid is the worst because while this gig is hard, we are capable of handling it with God’s help. My mama told me that if we can serve without complaining while encouraging others- that’s where the good stuff is. That’s how the Kingdom is built.
I’m not going to make any friends with this post, in fact, I might lose some. But it’s been stirring around in my brain for awhile. In fact, it stirs around every time I see a “cryfest/I’m a martyr mom” article floating around on Facebook.
Don’t get me wrong, I think that parents need a safe place to vent about some of our struggles, but do I think that we need it more than anyone else? I just don’t know.
Here’s the thing, we aren’t martyrs.
There I said it, commence angry comments NOW. But I think it’s true. We are strong women and men who (most) of us have chosen this path of parenthood. We are badass and strong. We aren’t martyrs, we don’t need pity.
We can carry a toddler on one hip and 8 grocery bags in the other hand just so we don’t have to make another trip to the car.
We can hear “I HATE YOU!” and still have love in our hearts…. and not punch the person that said it in the throat like I might do if someone said that to me on the street.
We can make supper, clean a house, have the dog fed, and master a damn good ponytail all in 30 minutes.
But we’re not martyrs. This is what we do as parents. If we keep saying “Ugh I’m SO busy” or “This is SO hard” or “I’m SO exhausted” all over Facebook or Twitter, then what are we saying about our craft? We can handle this parents, we can handle the tantrums, the thrown food, the smeared ketchup on the sofa. But if we keep putting ourselves up on a martyr stand in the middle of the town then someone (probably my kid) will knock us off of it with a toy car.
Lets enjoy this crazy ride and put on our big girl/boy boots because we GET to do this. Blessing… not a burden.