Embracing who my son is NOW


I ¬†haven’t done much to prepare for Bud’s little brother coming. I’m 37 weeks today and have a to-do list that seems 37 pages long. But here’s the thing, hopefully Thelma and Louise still work and can feed him, the crib is still set up (linens still stained from Bud but still… it’s set up), and there’s a carseat somewhere in the garage. So- I think he’ll be ok.

Meanwhile there’s a boy with giant blue eyes, wild and tangled hair, and a personality that cannot be contained in our tiny house that needs me. This boy has emerged as an unstoppable force. Lately there have been some days when he has really tested us. I collapse on the couch and am convinced that he woke up with an elaborate plan to take me down. He is loud, he is a speed-racing bulldozer, he is stubborn, and he is my boy. But instead of thinking there’s something “wrong” with him, I remember that he is two.

I love that he is loud, I love that I have to jump over him when he barrels at me with his trucks, and I love that I have to sit him down and explain what boarding school is (I kid). 

I feel like I’m constantly learning to embrace the Now. And I don’t necessarily mean the “now” as a period of time. What I mean is that I’m learning to embrace who he is now. The good, the bad, the crazy.

He hated the cold water of the Pacific Ocean while we were in San Diego so he didn’t want to go on the beach. Okay. I’m embracing the time I get with him in the baby pool in the backyard instead.

He wants to fight me tooth and nail on every rule in the house like “Don’t sucker punch Mama”. Okay. I’m embracing that he has an independent spirit and if raised with prayer and direction, hopefully that’ll serve him very well in the future.

He wants to dig in the dirt and watch a lady bug crawl up his arm instead of play with the tricycle, balance bike, or scooter I just set up for him. Okay. I’m embracing his wonder at nature and know damn well that we’ll get to the other things another day….or maybe not. But either way, he and I are both better off embracing what’s happening right now because soon his little world is going to change and I might not be able to just sit with him and watch a lady bug crawl up his arm.

My boy was not created by accident. That includes his little personality, knots in his hair from where he twists it, and boisterous voice. So it would be a shame to not embrace who he is now…. amiright?

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  • Jude

    not trying to force them into the molds we want for them can be SO hard… you are doing great and Bud is a cool little dude.

  • Lauren Morton-Farmer

    This is getting pinned for when I have babies one day. More mamas need to read this and remember this and take it all to heart. Amazing.

  • Kim

    We love Bud and ALL his personality SO much! We especially love seeing it with our Adalynn, whom for we needed a reminder during this busy season to embrace now, with the clothing choice meltdowns, sensitivity, and all that comes with our ‘type A’ girl. Love it Martha. We will miss you TONS.