Question #2

This next question is from one of my favorite people in the whole world. I’ve talked about Kate before and ohmygoshi’msoexcited but we are FINALLY going to visit her family in Monterey this weekend! This mama is a freaking rockstar, she takes motherhood by storm and by such grace and a sense of humor. I love watching her mother her boys and text her frequently with questions like, “WTF ARE THEY SO SMELLY?! IS IT OK TO USE A HOSE?”

Here is her question:

What are you most nervous about having 2? How is this pregnancy (feeling, emotions, gummy bear eating) different than Bud’s?Does coming to my house this weekend and seeing the amount of dirt that is multiplied with two boys and that 99% of your time will be spent saying the words “Careful!” and “No wrestling on the stairs!” terrify you?

Ok, so this is something that I have felt rolling around in me for awhile. I wouldn’t categorize myself as an anxious person but I’ve definitely felt anxiety about Baby Boy 2.0 making his entrance. I felt like with Bud, I wasn’t anxious so much about life with a baby, but more about the labor and birth because well, something the size of a  watermelon is coming out of something the size of a watermelon has no business coming out of and I had no idea what to expect pain-wise. Plus, I was across the country without the hubbs until a week before the due date so that added to the anxiety party a bit. But with this next one, I find myself being more anxious about how Bud will feel and on those hard days when my energy is spent with ONE… how I will manage with TWO.

The past few weeks now that the pregnancy feels real (movement, GIANT BELLY) I find myself pretty emotional when I look at Bud. I find myself staring at his sweet little profile and smooth cheeks and cannot stop the tears in my eyes about how much I’ll miss all this alone time with him. Will he feel neglected? Will he resent the baby? Will I be so sad missing time with just my Bud? So, I definitely find myself battling those thoughts. And all I know to do is take a deep breath, think of how much fun I had with my brother and how much fun I’m going to have watching my two sons wrestle and laugh with each other. Graham and I were close in age and super close, so I can’t wait to watch some of the adventures my kiddos will have together.

0426a2~1 (2) 04-03-2005 12;23;28PM meand g

And honestly Kate, watching your boys has been such encouragement to me! I love how they play together and use their imagination and seem like such buddies.

Bud and I have had a really special time together for these almost two years, and have grown so close especially when Sam was deployed but I have to trust our joy will be multiplied when we add children to the pile. So instead of anxiety, I’m going to try and stock up on band-aids, first aid kits, wood scraps for treehouses and forts, a sense of humor, and accept that my couch cushions will be used for rocks so they can avoid the lava that my living room floor has turned into.

Ok, second part of the question about this pregnancy. I feel it’s been a just a little different which is why Sam was convinced we were having a girl. I’m glad he’s not a betting man.

1. I am breaking out like a 15 year-old boy…. awesome.

2. My sweet tooth for candy is even stronger (who thought that was possible).

3. I’m WAY more emotional. If I happen to catch an ASPCA commercial, you will find me in the fetal position in the corner sobbing with circus peanuts in my mouth.
circuspeanut

Everything else has been pretty similar as far as the sickness going away at week 16 and my energy being great. I was already reading birthing books with Bud at this point but aintnobodygottimefodat right now. The plight of the second child, not nearly as cool a nursery and not nearly as many books read. I think he’ll get over it.

Thanks again for sending questions, yall are awesome. Do yall have any other words of encouragement about siblings or dealing with the anxiety of adding more children to the family?

 

 

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  • Kate@Daffodils

    Great answer! And all those fears are so normal, then magically melt away the second you realize all that your heart is 100 million times bigger than you though and with excess wine and coffee back in the diet, managing two becomes a lot easier. Love you and can’t wait til Friday!!

  • Laurie Morton

    I just had my second boy. The oldest was 14.5 months at the time. I had all the same fears, but it’s been a great transition (don’t get me wrong some moments are rough but totally worth it just like first so you’re a pro with that by now). The one thing that really struck me was coming home from the hospital with the baby and realizing my older baby was HUGE!! It was amazing to watch the big boy love his brother up. So excited for you! Like Kate, the coffee and wine consumption has def increased. Btw love your blog!

    • thanks laurie!! you’re a rockstar with 2 boys so close in age!

  • Lauren Morton-Farmer

    I have to ditto what you said about Kate as a mother – I was just in AWE of her as I watched the way she mothered those boys. All I could think the whole time I was at their house was, “Lord, please let me be this kind of mother someday – even half her grace and patience and love would be the greatest gift!” You will be AMAZING with your two boys, Martha! And seriously, if your sweet tooth needs a good fix you know you can sneak down to Portland and we can go dessert hunting!

  • Stephanie Woods

    Word of encouragement, I was absolutely terrified about baby #2! I felt so much guilt about the fact that my 2 yr old son would no longer have my undivided attention. The night before I had my daughter I just held my son and cried. BUT amazingly going from one to two was SO much easier than going from zero to one. Alex loved his sister immediately and loved being the big brother. It also seemed as though he matured overnight, he became more self-sufficient and independent. Also, I was more at ease the second time around, I knew what to expect and I didn’t sweat the little things like I did the first time. I just made a point to completely enjoy every minute with her. The best part is as they get older they entertain each-other, which makes this Mama’s life SO much easier!

    • man, such good advice and thanks for the encouragement!

    • YES i’m looking forward to the entertaining each other part!