I’ve been thinking a lot about peace recently. And after years of taking “me” trips to sit next to a babbling creek, journaling to no end, listening to some cheesy Christian music or drinking lots of tea that never tastes as good as coffee, I have come to a conclusion. Peace doesn’t just magically wash over me. I have to seek it.
Now, I’m sure there are some people somewhere that just come across peace naturally. I imagine these people are riding unicorns down the beach or flying through the clouds like a Care Bear.
But me? Well, I have to actively seek it out.
Psalm 34:14 “Turn away from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it.”
Ok, so I can’t be the only one that feels this way right? Surely there are others out there that sit down to “find some peace” and end up making a grocery list or wondering what the lady at your playdate meant when she said that your kid’s body would eventually grow into his head or hell, just checking to make sure there are people crazier than you are on Facebook. I have come to accept that I’m not one of those people that peace will naturally find. There, I said it. And you know what else? I don’t think that makes me a bad person. Now, if I stopped at that and just never sought peace, feel free to be judgy and send me emails of rebuke. But I’m not stopping at that my friends. I’m seeking peace and then pursuing it with everything I have…. even when its inconvenient.
Case in point, let me paint a little picture for this morning. Bud woke up early (which is fine) but Mama woke up on the wrong side of the bed because she was awakened from a beautiful dream in which she was BFFs with Amy Poehler. Then Bud preceded to whine for the next 2 hours about his french toast taking too long, his milk temperature, his toys being out of order, me sending a quick email to someone, the blinds being closed, the trash trucks being too loud, the dog breathing too close to him, etc etc. We had his 18 month check up this morning so I was trying to get him dressed, put a bra on (because help us all if this step is skipped), and get out of the door. Well, it wasn’t happening and I could feel my temper being pushed even though he wasn’t doing anything wrong, it was my impatience issue. I realized that I needed to step into another room for a minute in order to remain a good mama. He didn’t deserve for me to be impatient and my heart wasn’t in the right place, so I gave him a book and told him “Mama is going to go find some peace for a minute. I’ll be right back.” And I went into another room, grabbed my Bible (ok fine, it was the Storybook Bible because I could get my hands on it faster) and sat in a chair and read, prayed, sought peace, and pursued it. It took two minutes, because that’s all I had. That was the turning point of my day. The rest of day has been so much better. Not because my son is less whiny (HA) or because I took a trip to Care Bear land in the clouds, but because I chose to pursue peace.
I don’t know what this looks like for you. Sometimes it looks very differently for me. Sometimes I need to slip away and give myself a break like this morning. Or sometimes, I just need to put Bud in a stroller and take a long walk. Or a quick Skype date with a good friend. Or a glass of wine and a Real Simple magazine. What does it look like for you? Is it an hour long counseling session? Massage? Listing things you’re grateful for? A trail run? Even if you’re suffering from major anxiety and need help with a little medication, there is NO shame in that. Whatever it may look like to you, for God’s sake, for YOUR sake, seek peace and pursue it. I can’t promise you that we’ll look like the people in the ads where we pop out of bed ready to face the day or take baths outside in vintage bathtubs overlooking an ocean (because really, who does that!? have yall seen that ad!?)
But I can promise you that when you take that moment to seek peace and pursue it, it’ll be a turning point. It will give you fuel to stay the course and remember
what Who it is you’re running after.
At the risk of sounding too Episcopalian, Peace be with you my friends.