Ever have those mornings when you wake up and just know within your very soul  that you have to start making some changes? I had one of those mornings this morning.

I’m a list person. I say that in full knowledge that can come as both a gift and a curse. There are times when I need to get stuff done, kick my undisciplined ass in gear and make some changes. Then, there are times when I need to realize that I’m covered in Grace and no list can get me further or closer to God than I am right now.

But this morning, I realized there was a change that needed to be made. I have gotten in a rut with my creativity. I’m talking my creativity in everything.

I used to sing. I still sing, but I used to sing for people that didn’t poop their pants or need me to puree their food. At church, in bars, at weddings,  even on Franklin Street, Chapel Hill with my friend Bo. This is a song I wrote and recorded with my buddy Scott Cash, and it doesn’t seem that long ago… but oh man, it really was.

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Now, I sing RARELY at best and it usually involves songs about Bud falling asleep or his diaper activities. Yesterday we kept singing, “I’m poopin’ and I know it” instead of “I’m sexy and I know it”…. I can actually see the child therapy bills forming.

I used to play with my husband.  I do love me some snuggle time some nights and vegging on the couch with my hubbs, I don’t want to forget how to play with my best friend. Cards? Board games? Strip poker? No? Too far? I need to love my husband more creatively.

So, no more status quo for this girl. I want to make sure that when I look back at my life, I don’t want to see endless Friday Night Light reruns (I can at least cut down to like, 2 a week right? I CAN QUIT ANYTIME I WANT!) or my butt imprint on the couch. Or even worse, for every sentence to my son to start with, “You know your mama USED to _______”. I’d rather him SEE that I’m living my passions, join me in them, and know for himself that he can’t vicariously live his life through the TV.  We can’t drown in excuses for why we’re not living so well its hard to catch our breath, because that’s what we’re designed for. Lets grab our inhalers and try to be breathless a bit more. Join me won’t you?

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  • Jennifer Powell

    I will be the first (second?) to vote for you singing more, that song kicks ass, and your post really resonated with me. I was home over Christmas with my boyfriend (haay) and I pointed out all of my old paintings and he didn’t have a clue I used to paint. It’s a side of me I’ve let slip for sofa time and dinners out and basically a bunch of stuff that really doesn’t add up to anything real. I love reading your blog, and your post inspired me to make an effort to be more creative. xx

  • Ashcun

    I feel ya on this one. I pulled out my sewing machine to make something other than curtains last week for the first time in over a year. Also, that song brought back so many memories… you should totally sing more!

  • Arianne Winston

    I first heard your music at YoungLife in Chapel Hill, and I still listen to your cd pretty frequently.  “Taste of You” is still by far one of my favorite songs that you did, it’s in the running for one of our wedding songs.  Love it!

  • Jodyhparker

    Martha, you are an inspiration to me and alot of other folks!  Thanks for sharing your talent and creativity!!  Love ya, Girl!

  • Lindsey

    Martha, I hope you find much encouragement as you explore new ways to express your innate creativity!  Reminds me of this Toni Morrison quote:  

    “You know, they straightened out the Mississippi River in places, to make room for hourse and livable acreage. Occasionally the river floods these places. “Floods” is the word they use, but in fact it is not flooding; it is remembering. Remembering where it used to be. All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was.” 

  • Lauren Morton-Farmer

    Oh holy snap girl! I’m digging that song. God gave you a gift with that voice. He also gave you a gift of words, which is ringing out in this blog – I am loving reading through these posts (and frequently laughing out loud to myself, which doesn’t make me feel at all crazy). Sometimes all you need a a little bit of a hiatus to recharge the creative batteries and revive your soul! And hey, if you’re ever in doubt, remember that you just CREATED A BABY! That’s a definite point in the “doing something” column 🙂

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