Perspective is an interesting beast. It is wonderful when you have it, destructive when you don’t, and often times painful to obtain it. I have been given some perspective recently about being a mama and a wife.

You see, I’ve been worrying about Bud’s sleeping habits all week. He got off of his schedule when we were visiting North Carolina and has been up throughout the nights since we got there and even back here. I’ve done tons of research, talked to a few friends, and spent countless hours praying for wisdom.  Biggest lesson I learned, when you don’t have sleep, things seem to be a pretty big deal. For instance, I pouted for a solid 15 minutes last night because there wasn’t a new episode of “New Girl”. I teared up because I didn’t have any more pumpkin candy corn left in the house. (I had already depleted my hide-out stash).

Then perspective came.

Our dear friends are pregnant with their first child and he is getting deployed for a year and will miss the birth and most of the pregnancy. Sam and I thought we had a tough situation when we were afraid he would miss the birth of our son, but he was in Virginia in training… not Afghanistan. Perspective.

I know that people have said having a child really puts tension on your marriage but praise be to the Father, we haven’t experienced that yet. I think a lot of it is because of perspective. I know that Sam could be deployed and his command knows that he’d like to go on this next mission. Knowing that he could leave us for a year in the near future makes every moment seem extremely valuable. Even if he never deploys, what a wonderful existence we are living in right now treasuring each moment. We had some friends over last night and he is about to deploy as well. (There is a huge group from Fort Lewis leaving so that’s why a lot of our friends are heading out) but we were talking about the different perspective we have in our marriages.  My friend said, “I don’t get frustrated when I see his socks on the floor because that means he’s home.” Perspective. 

I read this article this morning. I wept. I wept for this family. I wept for families like them. I wept that God had blessed me with a healthy child but a healthy child I needed to daily let go of. Every night when Sam prays for our family he always says, “Lord take our boy and do what you will with him. We know he belongs to you.” and I always have to pray, “Give us the strength to truly lift our boy up to You Father and not hold him so tightly.”

I have been holding Bud so tightly and fretting over little hiccups like sleep habits. I am not underestimating the importance of good sleep and because we are committed to that, he is back on track and we are all well rested. But I have to keep perspective and in the midst of learning how to parent, constantly praising God for our son who so far is healthy and safe and loved. He can see, he can hear, he is reaching milestones, and he can kick his chubby little legs. He is breathing his sweet soft breath on my cheek and nuzzling his adorable neck into mine as I get to cuddle him so closely. I have to remember how amazing this is in the grand scheme of things.  I have to keep this perspective. 

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  • I love this.

    • Thanks Chelsea! It was a tough lesson to learn and holy moly, I cried forever over that Dragon Mom article. Amazing woman.

  • Such a great reminder! I need to do much better at keeping things in perspective. It’s so tough though!

  • great post, pal.

    love the pic of bud with the play mat. 🙂

    when ike was about 4 months old, i started following a blog by a mom who had a 5 month old with shaken baby syndrome (day care worker). i had the same perspective shift. all the stressing out about sleeping and eating took a back seat to making sure i got all the cuddles and rocking and hanging out on the floor playing.

    AND, you’ll never believe this, but both of my kids are great sleepers. only one of them is a good eater, but .500 is a very good average, i think. 🙂

    • amen sarah! and we love the playmat 🙂 we use it everyday!

  • It is so hard to keep everything in perspective, but it’s worth the effort. I have seen having a child tear apart marriages – not the child’s fault at all, but the parents’. But I have also seen it bring many more marriages closer together. I honestly don’t think I appreciated my marriage to the extent it needed to be appreciated until we had our daughter. Sure, we were a team before, but now I SEE that on a daily basis. Where one person leaves off, the other seamlessly picks up, it’s amazing really. I always knew my husband was my biggest fan but now I FEEL it. And the love I have for my husband is multiplied every day when I see him as a father. In the grand scheme of things, does it matter that my daughter still wakes up at 2am for a feeding at a year old? No. Does it matter that sometimes she takes over 30 minutes to fall asleep with help? No. Does it matter that our house is not as clean as I’d like or the laundry is always at least a week behind? No. I think the sooner we realize these things, the happier we are. The more we worry about things, the less we’re trusting in God and taking advantage of the blessings He has given us every day.

    • so true lauren. i always knew Sam was my partner but now i FEEL it. thanks for posting such great words!

  • Gammy

    So good. So true. All of it. Love the story about the socks on the floor. Really love the pic of Bud on the mat!