I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, motherhood is the most humbling experience. I’ve been choking on my own pride the past few weeks. Before having Bud, I thought I had nailed down the theories of parenting I wanted to follow, read and memorized the books I wanted to emulate, and had become a walking troubleshooting index for the problems I had all figured out. Yep- I was that girl.
And the worst part of it was, I had become so prideful about other’s parenting issues.
I’d hear a mother talk about her child not sleeping and I’d immediately think, “They must not have him on a schedule.”
I’d hear a mother talk about her child talking back and I’d immediately think, “They must not be disciplined.”
I’d hear a mother talk about her child having reflux or being colic and I’d immediately think, “They must be feeding them too much so they spit up all the time.”
Then I had a child of my own who isn’t sleeping through the night even though I’ve had him on a schedule and followed the “rules”. I have a child who cries despite not being overtired, hungry, hot or cold, but just because he wants to be heard. I have a child who spits up after every meal and screams in agony from reflux despite not being overfed. I thought I’d be able to take my child everywhere and have him be the angel that I know he can be. I wanted to be that mother that people came up to in public to tell me who sweet my boy was. But, a screaming newborn is received about as well as a hunter at a PETA convention.
I’ve been reading through Proverbs trying to gain wisdom about being a mother and a woman and came across a little verse that has rung true:
Proverbs 11:2 says “When pride comes, then come disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
Motherhood is not a time for pride. It will only end in screaming fits, pulled hair, spit up on your clothes, and poop under your fingernails… yeah the term “shit happens” takes on a whole new meaning when being a mom. But when I’ve allowed humility to overcome me, I see my sweet son whose smile erases all the crying fits, poop nails and sleepless nights. It reminds me how blessed I am to be a mother to this child who just needs my husband and I to love him in a way that no one else can. When he coos when he hears his daddy’s voice or when I’m tickling his tummy reminds me that he was handmade for us by his Maker and there is nothing but humbling joy rushing through my veins.
You are worth all of this Bud. We’re totally smitten for you.