These are the conversations that happen in our house in the wee hours of the morn:
(After the 4am feeding for Bud)
Sam: Everything ok?
Me: Yeah. He’s just being a pill. He’s totally grounded.
Sam: Until when?
Sam: Ok, but I’ll probably break him out of the house because Dad is his friend.
(Then again at 7am this morning)
Sam: What do you want to do tonight?
Me: Me and Bud want to go dancing.
Sam: I thought he was grounded.
Me: He is. I figured going to a club and dancing with his Mama is worse than being grounded.
Sam: That’s true. I think we should do that! Instead of grounding him, just subject him to public humiliation. Like, ‘yes son you can go to the party, but let me give you this haircut first’.
Me: Ha!! What if we got him all excited and told him he could go to the party and then we just showed up? Best. parents. ever.